Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
