watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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