hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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