I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
