Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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