I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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