you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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