dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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