All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
