my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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