I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
