As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
