I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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