this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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