I'm drive I can fine osifer
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
