sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
