Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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