Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
