im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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