My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
