Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
