I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
