Non-Jews are for practice
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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