considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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