SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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