Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize