just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
