I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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