I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
porn star boner night. come get it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
