Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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