she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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