I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
