I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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