On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
"it" just moved
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
