my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
