Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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