I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
