He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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