whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
