my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
