The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need to calm my uterus...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize