you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
