I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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