U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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