If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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