mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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