Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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