this just has baby written all over it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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