Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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