it wasn't lemon gatorade
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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