We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize