i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
