can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize