Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
