I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize