If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
