ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
