No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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