Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
