I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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