so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
