i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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